Thursday, December 30, 2010

60 Posts, 800 Hits, 1 Punch to the Kidney and a Sprinkling of Cannibalism

Those are that stats as claimed...although I think one post may have never been made public, but I am not about to check on that.
I made the mistake of speaking about my kidney being well-behaved and so it struck me down for a couple days. As of tonight though, it appears I have bested my warring innards, and that foul stone-throwing and infection-loving organ has escaped making it's way into some cannibal's steak and kidney pie for the time being. Some days I long for a Tijuana hotel room and an ice wake up with that stupid bastard gone and the complete joke falling upon the poor sap who happens to purchase my faulty kidney on the black market.

Yes, yes, I know...urban legends or wishful thinking.
Other than the kidney issue I had a rather good Christmas/Yule/Whatever winter holiday I celebrate and I did make my way to church on Christmas Eve without catching on fire. I could have gone without the family member's car accident on Christmas Day though.

I've been on a mad reading, writing and editing binge for a while, and was far too amused today that my random playlist brought me “Shut Up and Swallow” by Combichrist, “Spit It Out” by Aesthetic Perfection and “Bleed and Smile” by Hate Dept all in a row as I read Chapter 9 of “Exquisite Corpse” by Poppy Z Brite. I finished that book today.
I used to watch surgery or emergency room documentaries while I ate dinner, a feat that grossed out some friends, but brought others in to meet my challenge...and now I kind of feel like I couldn't watch my beloved head wounds and hands caught in the grinder type shows while eating because I kind of feel like I'll always wonder what they taste like after reading that book.
Pretty sure that's an odd response, especially from someone who has refused to eat tripe, liver, kidney, chittlins, brain, heart, tongue and giblets that I've been offered from the normal creatures featured on the non-Hannibal Lecter food pyramid. In general I don't like how entrails look.
Fava beans also creep me out.
I'm good with Chianti, though...

I think I'm quite done with the cannibal jokes for now... oh, and the Llamas with Hats video kept inappropriately popping into my head while reading "Exquisite Corpse," although if a llama eats people it's not cannibalism, but it is pretty weird.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Nerdy Goodness

I'm working on a short story about mad scientists and took a break for some inexplicable reason to take this nerdy quiz. I've only played D&D a couple times, but it fascinates me.

I Am A: Chaotic Neutral Half-Elf Sorcerer/Rogue (2nd/2nd Level)

Ability Scores:







Chaotic Neutral A chaotic neutral character follows his whims. He is an individualist first and last. He values his own liberty but doesn't strive to protect others' freedom. He avoids authority, resents restrictions, and challenges traditions. A chaotic neutral character does not intentionally disrupt organizations as part of a campaign of anarchy. To do so, he would have to be motivated either by good (and a desire to liberate others) or evil (and a desire to make those different from himself suffer). A chaotic neutral character may be unpredictable, but his behavior is not totally random. He is not as likely to jump off a bridge as to cross it. Chaotic neutral is the best alignment you can be because it represents true freedom from both society's restrictions and a do-gooder's zeal. However, chaotic neutral can be a dangerous alignment because it seeks to eliminate all authority, harmony, and order in society.

Half-Elves have the curiosity and ambition for their human parent and the refined senses and love of nature of their elven parent, although they are outsiders among both cultures. To humans, half-elves are paler, fairer and smoother-skinned than their human parents, but their actual skin tones and other details vary just as human features do. Half-elves tend to have green, elven eyes. They live to about 180.

Primary Class:
Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.

Secondary Class:
Rogues have little in common with each other. While some - maybe even the majority - are stealthy thieves, many serve as scouts, spies, investigators, diplomats, and simple thugs. Rogues are versatile, adaptable, and skilled at getting what others don't want them to get. While not equal to a fighter in combat, a rogue knows how to hit where it hurts, and a sneak attack can dish out a lot of damage. Rogues also seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to avoiding danger. Experienced rogues develop nearly magical powers and skills as they master the arts of stealth, evasion, and sneak attacks. In addition, while not capable of casting spells on their own, a rogue can sometimes 'fake it' well enough to cast spells from scrolls, activate wands, and use just about any other magic item.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Friday, December 17, 2010

Poem: Fade to Dark

I've been bad about posting and probably will be a bit absent until after New Years. There has been a lot of things to keep me busy recently including this morning's mystery of the errant panic alarm on my car (it has gone off three times today for no apparent reason--the first one at 6:30am, so the neighbors probably hate me).
Time for some high school poetry. I hope it isn't that horrible or painful. This one was written in 10th grade for an assignment. I don't know the grade that I received because I only have the rough draft.

Fade to Dark
J. Lannan

Fade to dark
silence for mere moments
low rumble before me
feet upon the mud
sword in my hand
see the danger in the eyes
glowing orbs within the skull
spin away at a run
the eyes follow
speeding across the earth
running beyond the shimmer of death
growling at my heels
jump forward to grasp the vines
drop down
circle of demons
the blade driven forward
clearing a path
demons to dust
Fade to dark

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Quiet Friends in Granville

Granville's Old Colony Cemetery in November 2010

Friday, December 10, 2010

Epitaph #1

This is not my poem. In fact I don't know who wrote it, but I found it carved upon a large stone in the Old Colony cemetery in Granville, OH--the one off to the right-hand side when you're heading North on 37.
Anyway, I believe that it was on a monument to Horatio G. Mowler who died March 29th 1855.

Our love survives stronger than hope or grief,
It has survived, remains, and will remain;
Time to our poignant anguish brings relief,
And now thy memory is sweet again.
And is not this a pledge of life eterne?
Nature still clinging to her last desire?
Towards our friend the dead our feelings yearn,
To meet him and not part our hearts aspire.