Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Dream: Ride the Waffles...or Cake Rolls!

Several days ago I had a dream that was remarkable in its lack of disturbing content... well I guess it still disturbed me because it was so far away from my normal level of strange.

So, dream sequence begin...

I had this feeling that I was driving to Minnesota or Wisconsin, but anyway I was on a very busy highway. This was not a normal highway at all because off to the right there was a giant parking lot with a lot of fast fast food establishments. I pulled off and went to McDonalds (this should be my first hint that something is rather off). I see my husband here, but he plans on driving ahead. After taking a break I get back on the actual road and see the bright yellow sign that says to share the road with trains. Yes, there are semis and trains on this road. The trains have tracks off to the right. I get into the lane on the right near the train tracks and approach a tunnel. A concrete door drops down into my lane and the yellow sign has some sort of delayed warning on it. I slam on the brakes and as I sit in front of the yellow sign I think "Screw this, I'll use the GPS."
The GPS tells me to cross four lanes of traffic, which I do. And I get into the tunnel. This path is twisted, carnival colors and reminds me of that boat ride in the Willy Wonka movies. The tunnel itself terminates into a huge warehouse and I am removed from my car and it is taken away down some tracks. They later tell me that it's in some parking lot. I assume I have to put up with this nonsense since everyone who was on the road is probably in here somewhere.
My group follows this noisy tour guide through the warehouse and she's telling us something about candy or sweets and how this is just how they do things in whatever state we're in. State of confusion? Anyway, there's a buffet of odd Eastern European foods set up, and nothing I would eat, but the sort of thing that you'd see on "Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern"--cabbage and congealed fish mostly (that may sound awesome to you, but I just can't eat pickled stuff). There's also a sad-looking Oom-pah band in faded folk garb. They look friendly enough, but the music is quiet and not all that in tune.
After the buffet that I cannot eat and the band that I mostly feel sorry for we're led to another drab concrete hallway, and a wide ledge with five railroad tracks leading to it. The tour guide tells us that we'll all have to jump soon. The ledge is about seven feet tall and I'm thinking "No f-ing way am I jumping down there." Everyone else lines up with their track as they know what's going on. As the people move forward giant waffles and equally gigantic slices of cake roll come down the tracks and pause in front of the ledge. Some of the waffles have scoops of ice cream on them--in either blue, pink or white-- and the cake rolls are all the lovely rainbow of pastel colors of the cake rolls I like to buy at the Taiwanese bakery I go to in Columbus. (Ichiban Bakery is fantastic btw)
So, now I'm looking at people from all demographics hop on their waffles or cake rolls and ride away down the series of tunnels. I see the elderly tourists who look right out of the 80's with their old cameras, then there's the punk guy in skinny black jeans, a man in a suit, and a pair of very tan teenage girls in summer clothing, etc. As I'm watching all this, all I can think is, "I'm not jumping on a damn waffle."
It's not that I really care all that much about looking stupid, but the ledge is high and I cannot believe that my brain came up with this notion. I'm left alone with the tour guide, and she says that this is the only way out of I finally jump onto the waffle and see where it leads.
I guess each track went somewhere different, but I ended up in front of one of those carts, or caravans, where someone would be selling snake oil cure-alls of some variety during the 19th Century. Oh, and the guy doing the talking completely looked the part, but he was giving out gourmet jelly beans instead of quackery. He spoke of the magic powers of jelly beans to make people happy and sprinkled the crowd with them, but he tossed a full bag of them to me. They were green, and pear-flavored, and when people started trying to take them from me I woke up...

I guess what I realized in this dream is that my brain has some whimsy left in it, and at the time I had no idea why Minnesota came into play, but I do now...
Oh, and if you try to take candy from me I get annoyed enough to completely ruin the whole scene just so that I don't lose something that I feel entitled to.

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